How to Deal with Difficult People

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  • How to Deal with Difficult People

"How to deal with difficult people" is a question asked by many people in their daily lives. It is a question that I get asked daily as well. A couple weeks ago I was having a conversation with a lady at Starbucks. She said some of the toughest people to work with are those who complain a lot. She went on to say that it goes on all the time, almost everywhere she goes. I asked what she thought the biggest challenge was for people like that.

The way to deal with difficult co-workers or difficult customers is not always the same. Some people have said, quote, "deal or no deal" to me over the years. What that really means to me is, I will do or say whatever it takes to keep this person out of my store. I do not feel threatened by anyone in particular. In fact I have dealt with some pretty mean folks in the past.

On the other hand, some people just need a gentle reminder that they are in the wrong. They need to hear that others find them unpleasant and do not wish to associate with them. Perhaps some people are just difficult from that point of view. Others are simply born hardwired that way.

The way to deal with these difficult people is not by running around telling them their bad habits or talking them out of what they believe in. You cannot convince them one way or the next. It's a catch 22. Unless you are prepared to either lie or distort whatever you are told, it's best not to tell the truth.

Another key tool to learn as you learn how to deal with difficult people is to avoid situations where they will attempt to manipulate you. There are countless instances of difficult people who use games or psychological tactics to try and take advantage of your lack of knowledge or mistrust. One good example is the so-called "toxic" personality. These individuals can be both genuine and not. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference.

Learning how to deal with difficult people can make you a stronger person in more ways than one. Not only will you become a stronger person, but your relationships will be better too. It takes a lot of patience and practice to overcome problems like these. However, if you have the right tools, it can be done.

As you start to learn how to deal with difficult people, you should also begin to build trust. Without trust, everything else will fail. It doesn't matter if you're dealing with a difficult person who is trying to manipulate you into doing what they want, or you're trying to figure out if a business associate has dealt with a fraud, you must establish trust before anything else. Make sure that you don't take it for granted.